Time Out

I am not going to upload the pictures from my journal for a while. Things are really very hard and sharing is just too much. I can’t honestly do it. I will be too tempted to water down my writing and I can’t do that to myself. Writing is my only outlet. My writing must be able to be as ugly and scary as I need in order to process my thoughts. Holding back in my writing because I am ashamed or otherwise shy about my feelings go against everything. Writing and getting things out must be my first priority. At a future date I may photograph the pages and put them on line like the rest. But until then, I will post things, but just not photos from my journal pages.

Im sorry and I hope you can understand that I need this right now.


2 thoughts on “Time Out

  1. just my perspective on this – my journal in the strict sense of the word is for my eyes only. Because of that I am to write out what I would otherwise not be able to do so if I thought someone else would read the words.

    just before i started my blog here at WP, I was creating what I called journal-zines. These were created with the idea that while in general no one would read them, some day I might meet someone I trust enough to read them. What I wrote in my journals and what I wrote in my journal-zines were two different things, even if they covered the same topic or experience.

    At the same time, sharing one’s journal with others can be a positive and healthy experience of expression. Yet when it stops being so, then one should never feel compelled to share what has written. The precious power of the journal — the place to be open up and to put into concrete words (and images) what is within one’s self, psyche — needs to be protected at all costs.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You understand it perfectly. In the beginning, when I didn’t have any readers, it was easier to upload my journal. But I’ve noticed in the last few weeks that I have been “writing to an audience”. When the days are not so intense, this is ok. But I think I am losing some of my writing honesty with myself. I like the idea of writing for others separately from the writing for myself. Enjoy writing very much. I just need to figure out where my my writing will go, I think. This was such a good suggestion. Thank you!


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